With Jeffery Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada and Jason Patric
“I’m saving the country Wade – doing something for the benefit of the United States of America.”
“I was born in Quebec.”
“Okay, then we’re saving North America.” – Max (Jason Patric)
“The Losers” follows a group of “rouge” specialists that fake their own deaths so they could go after a mysterious CIA Agent named Max (Jason Patric). Somehow or another this group of men (at this time they are members of the United States military) are in some third world country assisting a bombing of a known drug dealer’s headquarters when they see a bus full of children unloading in this compound.
Clay (Morgan) is the leader of the outfit and he quickly tires to call off the airstrike due to the sighting of children. The bombers won’t be recalled and Max comes on the radio and tells them that the mission won’t be aborted. The Losers then get in their jeep and drive down to the complex and save the children. How did Max get on the radio?
They gunfight their way through the compound and get all the children in a school bus that just happens to be on the compound. They load all the children up and dive away just as the bombs are being dropped. They bring the children to the pick-up zone and find that there is only room for the Losers or for the children, of course the children get on the chopper.
The chopper takes off and begins to fly away, Max calls over the radio for the chopper to be shot down. A jet screams by and launches and blows the helicopter up. In slow motion Jeffery Dean Morgan screams and begins to rush towards the debris that litters the ground. The rest of the Losers scream in horror (in slow motion) and run (in slow motion) to the debris.
This is my pick for best SAG ensemble.
So the Losers fake their death by throwing their dog tags and wedding bands into the burning remains of the chopper. Then they go on a balls out, hell bent mission to find and kill this evil Max person.
This film is an odd blend of trying to be a serious film yet trying to be overly campy and overly comic bookish. It’s just a really bizarre film with the way it’s set up. I like Jeffery Dean Morgan but he can’t really carry a movie. He tries but I kept looking at him on screen and thinking if Javier Bardem and Robert Downey, Jr. had a baby, I think it would look just like Morgan.
Zoe Saldana is so hot. But I discovered her back when she stared in “Drumeline” so she’s mine! Back off! She was fine as the mysterious exotic woman who helps the Losers with a plan to get them back in America and kill Max. Chris Evans who was just cast as Captain America plays the geeky funny guy of the group who’s good with computers and electronics (although he’s jacked up and knows how to kill people with guns – weird). I can’t imagine the producers of “The First Avenger: Captain America” seeing Evans in “The Losers” and thinking to themselves that this is their Cap. Evans has maybe one or two jokes (out of about 120) that are actually funny.
There are three more members from the Losers, but they aren’t really that important (well they are to the story – kind of) and you find yourself not really caring about them. There is a Latino sniper named “Cougar” (I know, I didn’t write it) who is an amazing sharpshooter. This character seems like he’s fresh out of a Robert Rodriguez flick.
I never thought I would ever say this about him, but Jason Patric is the highlight of the film. His character isn’t developed at all, you have no idea why he wants to kill the Losers or destroy the world (he gets his hands on these bombs that evaporate land or something and I think call them “snookies”). Patric is wonderful in his delivery of dialogue and his strange and offbeat ticks that he continues to display. It’s like he has a mild case of Tourette syndrome.
The biggest problem this film has is the fact that it tries to take itself seriously and tries to make it campy too. If the film would have been one or the other; more seriousness and less camp, or more campiness and less serious it would have been a better film. It’s a fun movie, and I was entertained while watching it but it just wasn’t that good.